Month: August 2015

‘Meon Villas’ to Close Down

 Another Mediterranean villa provider has announced it’s closure today after large tour operating group TUI confirmed it’s ‘Meon Villas’ product will close in October. This comes after Ibiza specialists ‘International Villas’ suddenly ceased trading at the end of July just as the market was entering it’s peak period.

Susan Allan from TUI said “The market for villa holidays has changed over the years. We have as a result reviewed our business model and taken the decision to no longer operate the Meon Villas programme post October 2015.  The outcome has not been taken lightly and we would like to thank you for your support and commitment over the years.”

TUI says that it will now go forward with it’s Sovereign brand and although Meon stopped offering Ibiza a few years ago it is yet another example of tough trading conditions for traditional tour operators who can’t offer the flexibility that private villa owner/managers can.

Airbnb and small businesses now dominate the segment offering maximum flexibility and prices without any add-ons. Ibiza has seen a large rise in holiday villa rentals over the last 5 years as laws have been simplified and investors turn traditional family homes into state of the art holiday villas with all mod cons.

The good news is that the consumer has never had a wider choice of accommodation options but the bad news is that the market will continue to be squeezed so expect more ‘consolidation’ in the coming months.

Read my previous blog: Ibiza Villas: Stick or Twist

50 Reasons why Ibiza is STILL the Best Place in the World!


To celebrate my 50th blog here’s 50 REASONS WHY IBIZA IS STILL THE BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD. Don’t believe everything you read in the press but do experience it for yourself. Remember though that it’s a game of 2 halves – quiet winters followed by busy summers so choose your dates wisely and find the Ibiza that is right for you.

Special thanks to everyone who contributed to this list via social media – all photos my own.

  1. LIBERAL ATTITUDE – turning a blind eye is a way of life
  2. THE PEOPLE – the weird & wonderful are welcomed and accepted with ‘open arms’IMG_6203
  3. RELAX – you can always find your special place even in the height of summer
  4. AGELESS – sexegenarians dancing at super clubs is standard
  5. SUNSET – one of the worlds best (I’m yet to see better)  
  6. DJ’s – the island is their Mecca, from the wannabe’s to the world famous
  7. FASHION – achingly trendy people of all ages everywhere
  8. LOCAL DISHES – paella/sofrit pagès/arroz de matanza/bullit de peix to name just a few – local food lovingly created then lovingly scoffedIMG_5829
  9. SANGRIA DE CAVA – with fresh fruit on a hot day mmmmm
  10. BENIRRAS DRUMS – experience the true hippy flavour, getting into the rhythm is compulsory
  11. ES VEDRA – a truly magical place, feel the magnetism as it draws you in
    IMG_7453
  12. ATLANTIS  – this mythical place actually existsIMG_0030
  13. NUDISM – walking round naked without a care in the world on one of the islands many nudist beaches
  14. TAPAS – a couple of euros will buy you tasty delights that will put a smile on your face not a hole in your pocket
  15. MARKETS – Las Dalias, Sant Jordi, Punta Arabi, Cala Mastella, Forada – dig deep for hidden gems
  16. VILLAGE SHOPS – usually run by the older generation whose local knowledge knows no bounds
  17. CHURCHES – breathtaking historical buildings that light up at nightIMG_5107
  18. IBIZA WINTER RESIDENTS – the only Facebook page to follow (Read my IWR Blog)
  19. MUSIC – It’s a way of life from live vocals to EDM to folkloric flutes, it’s everywhere!
  20. THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH – Ibiza keeps you young, fact! (ask Wayne Lineker)
  21. HIERBAS IBICENCAS – the local liqueur that’s good for the heart but not the headliqueur-hierbas-ibicencas
  22. AUGUST FIREWORKS – San Ciriac in Ibiza Town then San Bartolome in San Antonio, incredible displays watched by thousands
  23. LOCAL FIESTAS – every town and village has one and the whole population comes out to eat, drink and party
  24. AMAZING VISTAS – the island is still mainly untouched when you get out of the 3 largest towns
  25. BEACHES – white sand, blue sea – stay away from peak season and have one all to yourselfIMG_2195
  26. CRYSTAL CLEAR WATERS – better than the Caribbean?IMG_9325
  27. FORMENTERA – the jewel of the Med is only 25 mins away by fast ferryIMG_0267
  28. SPRITUALITY – more yoga retreats than California, feel the aura….
  29. SEMANA SANTA – Easter celebrations see the island shut down for 4 days and hooded take over the old town
  30. SUNSHINE – an average of 300 days per year speaks for itself
  31. LOCATION – barely 2 hours from most European capitals – quicker to get to the white isle than a few junctions around the M25
  32. CLUBS – the worlds largest, best and outlandish, all on a small island, equals a Clubbers Paradise
  33. ANIMAL PASSION – cats and dogs are more cared for than humans (see point 18)IMG_2786
  34. CAN RICH – local winery on the outskirts of San Antonio
  35. FLAO AND ENSAIMADAS – local bakeries making tasty treats
  36. MENU DEL DIA – a delicious 3 course meal with a bottle of wine for less than €10 (who said Ibiza was expensive?)
  37. WINTER CYCLING – fun races such as the ‘Porquet’ or amazing trails leading to incredible viewsporquet
  38. SPORTS – football, cricket, rugby, polo, basketball and much more, sport heaven 
  39. GETTING AROUND – less than 30 mins to anywhere on the island, except August of course
  40. FEBRUARY CARNIVAL – while the English eat pancakes Ibiza comes alive with floats, fancy dress and dancingDSC_0589
  41. HIPPY SPIRIT – they came in the 60s and never left, passing on their spirit to future generations  
  42. D’ALT VILA – Ibiza’s stunning old town and world heritage site with it’s fantastic cathedral at the top 
  43. ALMOND BLOSSOM – take a romantic walk through the groves in February
  44. FOLKLORIC DANCING – history and culture combined with high kicks and athleticism to penny whistles and drums  
  45. WINTER – no VIP just the real Ibiza
  46. MATANZA – the traditional slaughtering of the pig to keep your winter shelves stocked, a necessity back in poorer days and still a tradition todayIMG_3089
  47. VINO PAYES – potent homemade wine that’s very warming come January (sometimes better with lemonade though)
  48. BOATING HEAVEN – from superyachts to llauts to pedalosIMG_9421
  49. GIRLS AND BOYS – quite simply the best looking people in the world
  50. IBIZA LOVE! – so much love for 1 small island from so many peoplelove

¡Ibiza Shore Cancelado!

  

De manera sorprendente los productores del propuesto show de la MTV “Ibiza Shore” han anunciado la repentina cancelación del reality show televisivo citando “circunstancias más allá de nuestro control”.

El show iba a empezar a ser grabado en las próximas semanas y la cancelación viene después de que el Presidente de la Isla Vicent Torres dijera que cualquier establecimiento que colaborara con los productores seria sujeto a rigurosas inspecciones. Bora Bora renunció rápidamente a su colaboración junto con otros establecimientos de Ibiza… También ha habido una ola de histeria colectiva de los isleños enfadados con este tipo de show que continuamente resalta el sexo, las drogas y la cultura discotequera de la isla.

 El show es la versión española de “Jersey Shore”(EEUU) y “Geordie Shore”(Reino Unido) y sigue a un grupo de individuos atractivos documentando sus subidones y bajones y las relaciones personales dentro del grupo. Por más que los productores intenten decir “es una montaña rusa emocional” no hay duda que es valor de choque, un accidente de coche televisivo.

La pregunta ahora es donde ponemos el límite. Eso significa que TODOS los reality televisivos son persona non-grata o hay una norma para unos y otra para otros. No hay duda que mientras algunos estarán celebrando otros estarán preocupados que esto marque un peligroso nuevo precedente contra la Televisión, que estimula interés a muchos millones de personas diariamente.

Con más programas de Televisión y una película planeados para los próximos meses vamos a ver con qué tipo de reacción serán recibidos antes durante y después de la producción. Este ¿es un guiño por el sentido común o un guiño para la censura indebida? Solo el tiempo lo dirá así que vigilad este espacio pero por ahora el resultado es:

IBIZA 1 – REALITY TELEVISIVO 0

Ibiza VIP: La Subida de la Cuerda de Terciopelo

La cultura VIP no es una creación reciente aunque la terminología puede que lo sea. Desde el principio, siempre ha habido una manera para que la gente presumiera de su presunta “superioridad”, ya sea en aviones o en hoteles.Los que tomaban vuelos de primera clase (o Concorde) a hoteles de 5 estrellas en los años 70 y 80, ¿cómo se llamaban? VIP seguro que no. Ese sobrenombre estaba reservado solo para políticos o celebridades que tenían que ser cuidadas especialmente.

Hoy en día para ser un supuesto “VIP” solo tienes que pagar 10 euros más para sentarte en la parte delantera del avión y subir primero o pagar 100 euros extra por un ticket que te permite estar de pie en el otro lado del cordón y tener el dudoso honor de pagar más por tus bebidas.

La mayoría de las grandes discotecas de Ibiza tienen una zona acordonada, un lugar para que los dueños inviten a los invitados a bebidas y entretenimiento extra, donde lo importante era a quien conocías y si eras un invitado, y no si tenías más o menos dinero. El cordón rojo normalmente significaba “solo invitados” en vez de “¿cuánto dinero tienes?”.

El auge de la cultura VIP como la conocemos en Ibiza es relativamente reciente. Hace solo 10 años la mayoría de las discotecas ofrecían una experiencia VIP pero, ¿porquè querrías ir a una discoteca y beber champan en una terraza sobre la pista de baile mirando a todos pasarlo bien? No lo hacías, querías estar en medio de la acción, bailando y bebiendo y disfrutando al máximo, no sentado en una incómoda silla en un lugar apartado de la discoteca. Así que la zona VIP estaba llena de un público mayor que quería la experiencia pero también tener el espacio para mirar y disfrutar. La belleza de Ibiza era ver a sexagenarios bailando en el VIP – Ibiza, un lugar realmente sin edad.

Pero ahora VIP ya no es VIP porque es ‘mainstream’ y ‘mainstream’ no es élite. Cuando hay más gente en el VIP que en la zona publica, entonces no es VIP por definición pero la ironía no es algo cultivemos en Ibiza. Ahora también hay varios formatos – VIP, VVIP, Prive, etc…Todo guiado por “¿cuánto dinero quieres gastarte?” en vez de “quien eres” porque eso es de lo qué va esto – dinero – no vamos a complicar los hechos aquí en este blog.

Como la mayoría de cosas, este concepto guiado por el dinero acabara engulléndose a sí mismo. Mientras tanto en muchos bares y garitos te dan la opción de 1.donde puedes estar de pie/sentado 2.lo que puedes beber 3.cuanto es tu gasto mínimo.  El resultado es un entorno del cruce de la sociedad: La gente “normal” en la pista de baile, los “muy guapos” en la terraza, Los “ricos” encima, y los “obscenamente ricos” en una zona donde la “gente normal” no puede ni verles ni molestarles. Obviamente, en todos los grupos están repartidos los habituales camellos, charlatanes y oportunistas que solo Ibiza puede ofrecer.

Vivimos en una sociedad obsesionada con las redes sociales donde para usuarios “normales” todo está basado en la siguiente gran foto de perfil y están dispuestos a pagar un Premium por eso. Las 3 pequeñas letras justifican el gasto y esa nueva foto suya en Facebook, de pie al lado de la piscina o en la terraza de una discoteca sosteniendo una gran botella de champan o Grey Goose Vodka vale cada céntimo porque cuando echen la mirada atrás en un día helado en Enero, podrán sonreír y contar el cuento de ese día cuando fueron genuinos VIPs en Ibiza. Bien para ellos pero no confundamos VIP con VIP. Espera un momento, ahora yo me estoy confundiendo

British Bobbies on the Ibiza Beat


From 17 August 2015 – for 1 week only – Officers Sergeant Brett Williams and PC Martina Anderson of West Midlands Police are about to become ‘famous’ on the streets of San Antonio as they patrol in 2 shifts, from 7am until 10pm, and assist local law enforcers in investigations where British holidaymakers are offenders or victims. The officers will wear full British uniform in what is being described as a ‘trial operation’.

The 2 British ‘Bobbies’ (who will have already done a week in Magaluf, Mallorca) will be accompanied by 2 specially designated Guardia Civil officers and will be housed in 4 separate hotels donated by the San Antonio hotel association.
It’s an interesting and brave initiative that has been funded and planned with help from the UK’s Foreign and Commonwealth office that will see British and Spanish law enforcers join together for the first time in Ibiza’s 2nd largest town that has a far from untarnished reputation.

The British Ambassador to Spain, Simon Manley, said: “The presence of UK police officers will help to remind British holidaymakers of the importance of respecting local laws and customs, ensuring that everyone has a safe and enjoyable holiday, free from trouble and crime.”

Andy Marshall for the National Police Chiefs’ Council said: “Their presence will offer reassurance to both locals and UK citizens in areas that significantly increase in population during the busy summer holiday season and provide support to victims of crime during what can be a traumatic experience, especially when away from home.”

What will be interesting is the inevitable difference in approach from the Spanish and British officers on the streets to problems that can sometimes be controlled through clearer communication yet are often exacerbated by language and cultural barriers. It is hoped that the Spanish police might learn some techniques in quickly solving confrontations that just involve over zealous holiday makers.

In 2013 I accompanied a group of influential local San Antonio businessmen to Newcastle for an invited weekend and they were amazed how the local police force were high profile on the streets yet easily communicated with the party crowd often diffusing situations quickly and positively in the town centre adding to the atmosphere rather than taking away. Seeing that there are parts of San Antonio that have little or no police presence at crucial times of the day any help in this direction can only be positive.

San Antonio councillor Aida Alcaraz commented “This is a pilot project, we hope the ‘Bobbies’ take away a clear picture of the situation and return next year at the start of the season”.

Some parts of the British press have been critical calling it a ‘farce’ and a ‘paid holiday’ however only time will tell whether this is just a political PR exercise or a project that can grow and evolve into helping Ibiza and specifically San Antonio during the busy summer months.

Watch this space!

SANZ, DE LA SOUL, SPANDAU, ALBORÁN: A 10 DAY LIVE MUSIC BONANZA

  

Last night saw famous Spanish crooner Alejandro Sanz kick off an incredible 10 days of performance led live music on the White Isle as he played his 1st concert in Ibiza for 20 years as part of his ‘Sirope’ world tour. The Madrid born singer is famous for his flamenco based ballads – ‘Sirope’ is Spanish for ‘syrup’ – so this might give you an idea of his musical style

The concert took place at The Can Misses football stadium in front of 6500 noisy fans, 1500 tickets remained ‘unsold’ causing Sanz to comment at the start of his performance that ‘everyone was still on the beach’. Funny Guy. He played for 2 hours in high temperatures to an the audience made up of residents, tourists and few famous faces and formed the 1st part of a massive Latin double bill as 26 year old heartthrob Pablo Alborán will play the same venue on Thursday 20th August. The Malaga born singer will be sure to cause a stir especially with the local Spanish female population. 

On Wednesday 12 August Ibiza Rocks welcomes New York Hip Hop pioneers De La Soul for a much anticipated live show at their Hotel in San Antonio. The band have been together for nearly 30 years and are about to release their 9th album. This promises to be memorable in a streetwise, quirky lyric type of way.

Then the BIG one (for me anyway) is on Wednesday 19 August when the iconic 80s band Spandau Ballet perform at Ibiza Rocks Hotel in what promises to be one of the highlights of the summer for those New Romantics of a certain age. To Cut a Long Story Short this should be pure Gold, as after many years of infighting and all the band being a bit Highly Strung, they have literally gone Through the Barricades to reform and take on the world yet again. This really could be a new Lifeline for them. True Story!

Spandau have strong links to Ibiza: Steve Norman lived on the island for many years and all the ‘Boys’ have The White Isle firmly engraved on their memories from their glorious 80s and early 90s heyday. Tony Hadley even performed many solo shows here too back in the noughties.

So in the space of 10 days Ibiza Town and San Antonio play hosts to 4 massive concerts which will see plenty of arms in the air (like they just don’t care) waving from side to side with fans reliving their youth and singing at the top of their voices – the Nostalgia will be cranked right up. Ibiza isn’t about any one genre of music or entertainment and as it continues to reinvent itself every year, the White Isle truly has something for everyone! 

Ibiza Villas: Stick or Twist?

  

A little over 10 days ago local Ibiza villa retailer ‘International Villas’ went into liquidation just as we were heading into peak season. It seemed a strange time to go under and even though there were a few sinister rumours flying about when you consider that villa payments are due by the beginning of August it was possibly just a case of negative cash flow in difficult trading conditions?

The villa market in Ibiza is now an important part of island commerce with many investors buying a 2nd home to rent out and also many locals refurbishing their inheritances for a secondary income. The recent government initiative to simplify the legalization of holiday villas has also meant that it’s now become a viable money spinner rather than a cash in hand, nod and a wink extra. 

Never has there been so many villa companies, agents and middlemen, when I started renting villas in the mid 90s there were only 45 registered properties on the island (no wonder they were mostly fully booked). Any internet search will now reveal over 3000 villas online and that doesn’t include the ones that aren’t advertised. 

Airbnb is a recent phenomenon that has become popular however there is a fundamental flaw in their system; Because the owners/retailers don’t receive any money until after the client has arrived they reserve the right to cancel the booking right up until the last minute. This is OK for a short city mini-break but not very reassuring when you are responsible for a group of 10 people for 2 weeks in August. Your money may well be protected but that’s no consolation if your booking is cancelled the day before your arrival.

The entire villa market has also taken a PR bashing as internet shysters have been defrauding holiday makers on an industrial scale, UK’s Primetime TV show ‘Watchdog’ even ran a section on it putting the MD of Owners Direct under the spotlight and in the hot seat. Is it any wonder that tourists have decided to go back to town centre hotels especially as Ibiza is raising its game in this field. 

So taking all this into consideration the demise of International Villas isn’t too difficult to understand. 

So under these conditions is there a future for Ibiza’s villa market? Of course there is but it’s a competitive business and owners and agencies need to find a way to differentiate their product from the rest.

If you are a prospective villa client then do your homework, speak to the owner/agency in detail, ring their office, check their website and look for 1st person reviews. If you follow this advice then it will soon become clear if the person or business you are dealing with is reliable or not. If in doubt then don’t book with them as there are always plenty of other options. Don’t just take their word for it and don’t send any money to strange bank accounts in even stranger countries.

The good news is that with all the competition there are some amazing bargains to be had meaning that modern villas with private pools can sometimes be cheaper than 2 star hotels. So proceed with caution but with a little common sense you will soon be sipping cocktails in your own private pool watching the world’s most famous sunset with some extra money in your pocket and a great big smile on your face.

MTV’s ‘IBIZA SHORE’ CANCELLED!


In a surprising move the producers of the proposed MTV show ‘Ibiza Shore’ have announced the sudden cancellation of the reality TV show citing ‘circumstances beyond our control’.

The show was due to start filming in the coming weeks and the cancellation comes after Island President Vicent Torres stated that any establishment collaborating with the producers would be subject to rigorous inspections. Bora Bora swiftly renounced their links along with other Ibiza establishments.. There has also been a wave of hysteria from locals on the island annoyed that this type of show continually highlights the sex, drugs and club culture of the island.

The show is a Spanish version of the USA’s ‘Jersey Shore’ and UK’s ‘Geordie Shore’ and follows a group of good looking individuals documenting their ups and downs and personal relationships within the group. As much as the producers will try and say ‘it’s an emotional rollercoaster’ there’s no doubting that it’s shock value, car crash TV.

The question now is where do you draw the line. Does that mean that ALL reality TV is now persona non-grata or is it one rule for one and one rule for another. There’s no doubting that while some will be celebrating others will be concerned that this sets a dangerous new precedent against TV, the very thing that’s stimulates interest for many millions on a daily basis.

With more TV shows and also a feature film planned over the coming months let’s see what reaction they will be given before, during and after production. Is this a victory for common sense or a victoty for uncommon censorship. Only time will tell so watch this space but in the meantime its…

IBIZA 1 – 0 REALITY TV

Welcome to the IBIZA PREMIER LEAGUE

‘New season, new expectations’ , ‘the Big 6’, ‘pre-season transfers’, ‘management merry-go-round’ and ‘huge money contracts’…Welcome to the IBIZA PREMIER LEAGUE.

As the big kick off looms our guest blogger ‘STAN ANTONIO’ compares the English Premier League clubs to Ibiza’s premier establishments. Stan is a seasoned Ibiza veteran and describes himself as a ‘No Hit Wonder’ after his Ibiza Anthem “Sardines in Pacha” failed to trouble the record companies and chart compilers alike.

So here it is …….is your team the football equivalent of an Ibiza Superclub, bar, beach club, beach bar or swingers haunt?

Aston Villa = Any Boat Party
Enter the season knowing that their continued presence is threatened after a number of high profile players jumped ship.

Arsenal = Amnesia
Well established ever-present top-flight club with stable management. Playing staff feature strong British contingent in addition to some classy continental individuals. Smokers can be shown the door.

Bournemouth = Bora Bora
Excited seasiders, small capacity no barrier to a raucous atmosphere. Crowd not too concerned with result; just loving every moment of the ride.

Chelsea = Pacha
Stylish, cosmopolitan club who challenge for honours every year, owners probably on ‘Sunday Times’ Rich List. Midweek fixtures very busy with glory-hunting followers. Well-balanced playing staff comprised of trusty long-serving stalwarts and long-serving superstars, highest profile player somewhat divisive figure; both loved and reviled. Marquee signings sometimes flop (for Fernando Torres think ‘Wisdom of the Glove’).

Crystal Palace = Rock Bar
Small club in the capital, intimate ground with great atmosphere. Not Brendan Rodgers favourite place.

Everton = Plastik.
Proud institution, strong management who refuse to live in the shadow of their dominant (but shadow-of-their-former selves) neighbours just down the road.

Leicester = Beverly Swingers Club
Less said the better.

Liverpool = Es Paradis
Iconic ground but not the place it once was. Ineffective recruitment policy (and over-reliance on someone called Steve) has resulted in under achievement at the highest level. Home fixtures regularly played in downpours, but waterlogged pitches not a problem.

Man Utd = Privilege
The biggest club without a doubt but no longer the best. Recent glory closely linked to strong performance from big Dutch player who has since moved on. Recently showing signs of returning to former glories. Iconic building to which ‘home’ support travel hundreds of miles to attend. Enviable capacity but toilets smell bad.

Man City = Ushuaia
Early kick-off masters seemingly unrestrained by budget, have the pick of talent, but still regarded as noveau riche and although highly successful, perceived as lacking tradition.

Newcastle = Eden
Sleeping Giant suffering under often controversial ownership leading to a high turnover of management. Embark on the season with no big signings, but with a very clear PA system indeed.

Norwich = Heart
Famous chef’s hobby.

Southampton = Sankeys
Unparalleled youth policy, known for unearthing new talent who move on to bigger (but not necessarily better) clubs.Play their best game in sultry, humid conditions.

Stoke = Benimussa Park (The Zoo)
Partisan, animalistic home crowd, effective results (although can be messy at times in the middle of the park, Brian). No one enjoys going there on a wet Wednesday in late November.

Sunderland = The Highlander
Passionate and unpretentious community-based club under Irish and Dutch stewardship. Expect broad accents and even broader smiles.

Swansea =  Ocean Beach
Single-handedly flying the flag in an area not known for ‘the beautiful game’. Deliver a stylish and attractive game despite no household names playing for them.

Tottenham = DC10
Occasional flashes of brilliance after long periods of inactivity. Italian management held in high esteem for their vision. Somewhat insecure possessive tendency to regard their residents as “one of their own”.

Watford = La Torre by Mambo
New boys on the block. No expectations of silverwear, this season is all about establishing themselves in the top flight.

West Ham = Linekers
Semi-famous owners, celebrity supporters mixing with salt-of-the-Earth type geezers.Ambitious plans which don’t include Sam Allardyce or for that matter, foam parties – which is surprising, given their terrace anthem.

West Brom = Ibiza Rocks
Strong, uncompromising management guarantees perennial top flight presence, strong talent scouting. Even stronger replica shirt sales. Rightly applauded for introducing new style of playing. Exciting prospects in the ranks but strict wage ceiling limits World class signing.

Recently Relegated

Burnley = Gatecrasher
No one misses them.

Hull = Ket Cove
Recreational drug problem.

QPR = Booom!
Couldn’t remain in top flight despite high profile management and some big name transfers.

And finally the nearly men……

Derby County = San Antonio
Amazing history full of characters. Great crowds and incredible atmosphere, massive potential yet prone to disappointing even their most loyal and passionate supporters by making basic errors.

Nottingham Forest = Exodus
Manager and fans talk a great game, never gonna happen.

The crowd are on the pitch…..

My Top 5 AMAZING BOATS in IBIZA 

  

Ibiza has become the playground of the seriously wealthy who descend on the party capital of the world to have fun and also show off their amazing toys. 

Amongst them is the planet’s 2nd largest privately owned yacht appeared off the coast of San Antonio. “Eclipse” – owned by Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich – measures 162.5m/533 ft, has 2 helicopter pads, 24 guest cabins, 2 swimming pools and several hot tubs. It is also equipped with 3 launch boats and a mini-submarine that is capable of submerging to 50m. 70 crew members are needed to operate the yacht and serve the guests. WOW!!!!!

“Eclipse” isn’t even the biggest yacht out there!  In a mind-blowing display of one-upmanship Khlaifa Al Nahyan, the President of United Arab Emirates, launched the €500M “Azzam” in 2013 and at 180m/590 ft ‘dwarfs’ Eclipse by 18m/60 ft.

As a ‘celebration’ of obscene wealth here’s my 5 favourite completely excessive boats that I’ve seen in Ibiza waters over the last 12 months. All photos taken from my very own insignificantly small boat.

 Eclipse – see above, Roman’s €340M floating palace with bullet proof glass, 2 helicopters and 1 submarine among it’s toys. Say no more.

Wow Factor 10: It has a fully equipped nightclub

 RC – Roberto Cavalli’s 40m/133 ft yacht named after himself (naturally) cost a relatively cheap €30M and is proof that size isn’t everything. It’s uber-fashionable with animal print furniture ,15 staterooms, a spa and optional fur coats if the weather turns a little chilly.

Wow Factor 9: It changes colour as you approach it.

 “A” – when it comes to cutting edge design it doesn’t come any edgier than this tug. It was designed by Philippe Starck and Martin Francis and delivered in 2008 at a cost of around €250M. With a length of 119m/390 ft and weighing almost 6,000 tonnes it’s named after owners Andrey and Aleksandra Melnichenko. It’s provocative styling has made it a true marmite boat with comparisons to submarines and battleships. It’s known as the “most loved and loathed ship on the sea” and can accommodate 14 guests in the owner’s suite and 6 further guest suites – it has 37 crew.

Wow Factor 10: It costs over a €1M to fill it’s fuel tanks

 Main – Giorgio Armani’s 65m/213 ft mega yacht is sharp, fit, slim and is the water version of the famous Armani aesthetic. With angular lines and an unusual dark-green color the boat is more lean, mean war machine than fat and happy pleasure cruiser. “Main” has 6 spacious guest cabins, elevator, jacuzzi, indoor gym, cinema screen, multiple bars, a gigantic sundeck.

Wow Factor 9: It has 12 statement staircases

 Tiara – this amazing 55m/178 ft sailing yacht is not just a passing visitor but an island resident and is moored permanently off the coast of Cala Tarida right opposite its owner Guy Laliberte (Cirque du Soleil founder) huge hillside mansion. “Tiara” provides 5 luxurious staterooms for 10 guests. The owner’s ‘apartment’ is on 2 different levels and features a superb lobby and study. The master stretches the width of the boat and features a large marble bathroom and king sized bed. There are 4 further spacious staterooms plus accommodation for it’s crew of 12.

Wow Factor 8: Rental is a cool €180,000 per week (plus expenses of course)

For everyone else there is the euromillions draw every week……..