Now that the UK has decided to go it alone outside of the European Union there’s a lot of rumours, hearsay and conjecture about what is going to happen next. Here’s some of big questions faced head-on.
1. Does this mean that the UK isn’t in Europe anymore?
The UK is geographically in Europe and that’s not going to change for a few billion years but politically it has decided to go it alone.
2. Can the home nations continue in Euro2016?
Yes, this competition has nothing to do at all with being in the EU, it’s sport not politics you numpty.
3. Will I need a visa to travel to Europe?
No, things will carry on exactly the same for the foreseeable future until Germany, France, Italy and Spain spit out there collective dummies and since when did Spain and Italy do anything quickly.
4. My Passport has ‘European’ on it, will I have to change it?
No, although you can put some black tape over it if it offends you.
5. Will Europeans treat me any differently now my country has decided that it doesn’t want to be in the “in-crowd”?
Most Europeans couldn’t give a flying f**k about the UK so wind your neck in.
6. Will all the hard working, low paid foreigners now have to leave the UK?
Nobody will be made to leave although in the future it may become more difficult to gain entry and legally do jobs that British people consider demeaning.
7. Will I be able to legally drink San Miguel, Grolsch and Heineken, aren’t these EU beers?
Fill your boots while can, sounds like you’ve already had too much.
8. Now that we are out of Europe can I legally ask for my fruit and veg in pounds and ounces?
Whatever floats your boat. Ask for it in Esperanto if it makes you feel better and don’t forget that the bendy banana law is soon to become a thing of the past.
9. Will Nigel Farage be the next Prime Minister?
Seeing as the beer swilling, cigar smoking MEP was easily beaten at the last general election and isn’t even an MP I seriously doubt that.
10. If I voted OUT does that automatically mean that I’m a racist bigot?
As Bananarama once said, it ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it.