Month: June 2016

Now that the UK has decided to go it alone outside of the European Union there’s a lot of rumours, hearsay and conjecture about what is going to happen next. Here’s some of big questions faced head-on. 

1. Does this mean that the UK isn’t in Europe anymore?

The UK is geographically in Europe and that’s not going to change for a few billion years but politically it has decided to go it alone.

2. Can the home nations continue in Euro2016?

Yes, this competition has nothing to do at all with being in the EU, it’s sport not politics you numpty. 

3. Will I need a visa to travel to Europe?

No, things will carry on exactly the same for the foreseeable future until Germany, France, Italy and Spain spit out there collective dummies and since when did Spain and Italy do anything quickly. 

4. My Passport has ‘European’ on it, will I have to change it?

No, although you can put some black tape over it if it offends you.

5. Will Europeans treat me any differently now my country has decided that it doesn’t want to be in the “in-crowd”?

Most Europeans couldn’t give a flying f**k about the UK so wind your neck in. 

6. Will all the hard working, low paid foreigners now have to leave the UK?

Nobody will be made to leave although in the future it may become more difficult to gain entry and legally do jobs that British people consider demeaning. 

7. Will I be able to legally drink San Miguel, Grolsch and Heineken, aren’t these EU beers?

Fill your boots while can, sounds like you’ve already had too much. 

8. Now that we are out of Europe can I legally ask for my fruit and veg in pounds and ounces?

Whatever floats your boat. Ask for it in Esperanto if it makes you feel better and don’t forget that the bendy banana law is soon to become a thing of the past.

9. Will Nigel Farage be the next Prime Minister?

Seeing as the beer swilling, cigar smoking MEP was easily beaten at the last general election and isn’t even an MP I seriously doubt that.

10. If I voted OUT does that automatically mean that I’m a racist bigot?

As Bananarama once said, it ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it.

This coming Thursday (23 June) the UK will decide whether to stay inside the European Union or whether to sever ties with an institution it has been an intricate member of for over 40 years.

The BREXIT & BREMAIN camps have fought a hard and often tetchy campaign focussing on immigration and the economy that hasn’t followed any party lines with MPs and supporters from all political parties standing side by side in their respective camps.

The tragic, cold blooded murder of Jo Cox, Labour MP and mother of 2 young girls, by an alleged right wing extremist has only served to highlight the gulf between those who want to carry on inside the EU and those who think the UK would be better going it alone.

For British expats, especially the ones like me, who can’t vote, we will just have to sit and watch whilst others decide whether we continue to be citizens of Europe and enjoy the many benefits that it brings or whether the Brits go it alone and negotiate a new relationship with our European neighbours.

For many UK expats the most concerning aspect of leaving the EU is healthcare and freedom to legally work in Europe and what a BREXIT will mean for Ibiza as tourist destination seeing that Brits make up the majority of arrivals on the white isle?

In the short term the biggest change may be less money in the pockets of British tourists as the pound finds its footing post EU however this could change quickly as the financial world stabilises and the pound may strengthen as a reinvigorated standalone currency. Nobody knows.

Will less Brits travel to Spain? It’s difficult to see this happening with cheap flights and the close proximity of the countries. There’s too much to lose for both sides to make life difficult for tourists so I suspect it will be business as usual. However nobody knows.

In case of a BREXIT what difference will there be for ex-pats? Things will be different but knowing how the Spanish system works, nothing will change anytime soon. A 2-3 year consultation period will give both governments enough time to thrash out an agreement that suits both sides however I suspect that Gibraltar may play a part in any negotiations. Once again nobody really knows.

There’s a lot of speculation, emotion and misinformation however nobody really knows what will happen with a BREXIT and that is why so many are still undecided with only 2 days to go until voting.

Will the UK start a domino effect by going it alone and starting an EU revolution or will they stay in the Union and try and renegotiate from within? Whatever the result the wheels of democracy must be respected and accepted. 

They say that Ibiza is an ageless destination but what if you are a gentleman of a certain age who still wants to experience San Antonio? Here is a list of do’s and dont’s (or the rules of engagement) for the fifty plus gentleman who just wants to have fun in the sun in Ibiza’s party town.

1. Never go to a club, it’s a nice thought but the late night will wipe you out

2. Don’t worry about No.1: Daytime is the new night time

3. Never expose bare flesh unless swimming

4. Wear what you want: shorts, flip flops, socks and sandals. Ibiza loves free spirits and some youngsters might even think you are “cooool”

5. Don’t despair, there are more older women than you think (normally mums of hens)

6. Day out on a boat is compulsory

7. Lunch at Ocean Beach is recommended – VIP access is vital

8. Stay away from drunken nights in the West End – a quick browse is fine but this ain’t your manor

9. It’s perfectly acceptable to stay in a San An hotel and you don’t have to pay ridiculous prices for a room 

10. Pre-party/Sunset at Mambo/Mint is a must – just don’t get talked into the after show

11. Blue Marlin on a Saturday is a good escape

12. Try to make friends with proprietors or bar owners, they are more your age and you will appear ‘in-the-know’ to younger partygoers

13. Be in bed by 2am at the very latest – it’s a jungle out there after that (Plastik VIP notwithstanding)

14. It’s more about long lunches than long nights. Try a ‘menu del dia’ for less than 10 euros

15. Be proud to tell everyone at home that you are “staying in San An!”

16. Never discuss age

17. When talking to the younger generation try not to say “back in the day”

18. Always mention you are personal friends with someone who owns a boat. Certain ladies seem to respond to this

19. Remember: You can have a good day or a good night but you can rarely have both

20. Never try to defend the West End – it’s just not worth it

21. A night at Pikes, dancing to 80s music in Freddie’s Bar, is compulsory. 

22. San An and surrounding bays have the best beaches on the island (best viewed from a boat)

24. You’re never too old for Ibiza – you just look it 🙂

25. June and September are the best months to  visit

26. Hire a car and discover remote parts of the island. 

27. Spend more time around the hotel pool making friends with your local knowledge, charm and banter. 

28. Don’t try to do too much, conserve energy wherever possible

29. Don’t be afraid to spend money or ‘buy’ friends. It’s Ibiza after all

30. Time is precious so use it well, it’s not a rehearsal

Thanks to Paul Riches for the idea/content. Dedicated to all those who should know better but point blank refuse to give up the ghost (especially Paul, Danny, Nigel, Lee, Kieran, Tom, Peter, Stu, John S, Phil, Dave Bee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick, Tich and too many others to mention) 

Copyright: Man in San An 2016