Brexit Terminology Explained

Brexit” – a pipe dream of the over 50’s to prove that the UK is still a world force

Cabinet” – a room full of liars, backstabbers & cowards

Self-Interest” – see previous point

Brexit Secretary” – laughing stock

May” – Cruella de Vil without the charisma

Corbyn” – useless, anti-war, anti-establishment, anti everything, pro-Brexit but not allowed to say

ERG” – old Etonian drinking club

Jacob Rees Mogg” – upper class intelligent twit

House of Commons” – Private Members Club (commoners not allowed)

Tusk” – pantomime villain

Brussels” – Gravy Train (invite only)

Boris” – deluded buffoon, to be wheeled out like a performing monkey when mood needs to be lightened

Farage” – a more sinister version of a “Boris”

Gove” – alternative word for weasel

Bercow” – little man syndrome

Backstop” – the ‘MacGuffin‘ that drives the plot but doesn’t actually exist

Bendy Banana Ban” – a myth perpetuated by Brexiteers

Democracy” – can be spoken about but not acted upon

Article 50” – two harmless words that when put together have brought the UK to it’s knees.

Voters” – should be seen but not heard

Brexiteers” – little Englanders

Remainers” – hanging on

29 March 2019” – the last Friday of the 3rd month

Press” – a rabid, hungry bunch of dogs looking for juicy morsels

Europe” – the pretend enemy within

Super Gonorrhoea Traced Back to Ibiza

They say that there’s no such thing as bad publicity but news that a new strain of ‘Super Gonorrhoea’ can be traced back to Ibiza probably isn’t the best advertising for the island.

A study published in the magazine Eurosurveillance places Ibiza as the link between the strain Neisseria gonorrhoeae FC428 and the infection of 2 men and 2 women, all from the UK.

The first case was registered at a UK sexual health clinic in October 2018 when a woman complained of urinary problems. The patient admitted having had unprotected sexual intercourse with a man, also a resident of the United Kingdom, two months earlier while on vacation in Ibiza (August madness as usual).

The scientific study emphasizes that the probable transmission of this disease has occurred on the island means that “there is a risk of undetected transmission.” Subsequently the UK government has issued an international alert.

Strain FC428 was isolated for the first time in January 2015 in Japan and appeared two years later in Australia, Canada, Denmark and France but the trail was lost in 2018 in Ireland.

The good news for Ibiza residents is that, despite the headlines, local hospitals haven’t reported any case of multidrug-resistant gonorrhoea in recent months so looks like the tourists brought the disease with them but more importantly took it away with them too. Ibiza, for once, is just an innocent bystander caught in the crossfire (if you pardon the expression).

Those tourists eh!

Source: Nou Diari

San Antonio Port To ‘Close’

Vehicles of 4 wheels or more will be prohibited from arriving or departing at San Antonio Port for the next 2 years under a new ruling brought in by the Balearic Government and pushed through by the local ruling coalition.

In direct response the ferry companies have not included San Antonio in any schedules for this coming summer which means that the ferry terminal will more than likely stay closed for the foreseeable future.

Although many local businesses were against the move Mayor Josep Tur ‘Cires’ has finally got his wish arguing that San Antonio is a tourist town and shouldn’t receive vehicles and especially heavy goods lorries through the town on a daily basis in the summer.

The Mayor cited damage to the port, a collapse of traffic, water pollution and an increase in dangerous waves as his main reasons for the move. “The intention is for the port to stay this way indefinitely. We call it a port, but in reality it is the tourist bay of San Antonio and we have to recover its tourist, recreational and fishing use” said the Mayor.

Regarding the question of whether a majority of the town agrees with this temporary closure, Cires limited himself to saying that “there are always different opinions and we will see (in the next 2 years) the advantages and disadvantages”.

The Mayor also made clear that his position as President of San Antonio Yacht Club has nothing to do with the decision to close the port to vehicles. “Es Nàutic is a non-profit organization where all the directors collaborate without earning anything. We have a concession that is perfectly defined and that has nothing to do with the management of the port”

Marcos Serra, PP Mayoral candidate for San Antonio responded that the decision taken by the Socialists contrasts with the proposal of his own party which wants the local public to decide the fate of the port. “We want the residents of San Antonio to be the ones who decide, what the present government has done with underhand treachery is close the port to traffic and goods vehicles without any consultation or consensus from the town” said Serra.

Source: Periodico de Ibiza