MAN IN SAN AN by Martin Makepeace

Before the internet and social media started spreading fake news & giving away all the secrets, Ibiza was a mythical destination. It had it’s negative tabloid headlines in the 80’s but there also existed an underground movement that personified late 20th century Bohemia.

The glitterati and fashionistas flocked to the island and indulged in all their hedonistic pleasures, not the social media wannabes from today’s era who are judged by their instagram followers and blue ticks, but genuine power people, the movers and shakers, those who knew that on the white isle they could do as they pleased without being judged. It was a secret society, a playground for the rich and famous to let loose, the wild stories could never be substantiated but those on the inside always claimed that the truth was stranger than fiction.

Right in the middle of all this decadent excess was Ku Club. An outdoor extravaganza centred around a large swimming pool in the hills of San Rafael. It was here that many infamous parties went down with the great and the good, the beautiful people and, of course, the hangers on and fixers who could arrange ‘things’.

You can’t mention Ku in the 80s without Freddie Mercury but you also need to throw in Grace Jones, Spandau Ballet and any other 80s european stars you care to mention who invariably sampled the club at one time of another. By the end of that decade it had been crowned the ‘biggest club in the world’ and it even had the certificate from the Guinness World of records to prove it but there was a problem.

The early 90s saw the first gulf war that decimated travel while the club had become tired and the roof had given the vast space an airport hangar type feel, totally different to partying in the hills under the stars in the balmy summer heat.

After a couple of bad years the unthinkable happened and in 1993 Ku never even opened but it was about to make a comeback of Lazarus proportions thanks to 2 brothers from Manchester who were in the right place at the right time and had the vision and creativity to make their mark on the varied history of Ibiza clubbing.

In 1994 the club re-opened with a new moniker and ‘Privilege’ was born and Monday nights were about to go stratospheric. Manumission not only put Ibiza back on the world clubbing map but also brought it to the mainstream, focussing on production with the same hedonistic values that made the place what it had been in the previous 2 decades.

When you trace the Ku/Privilege timeline 1994 is where it’s modern history starts and Manumission were right at the forefront of this. Cream also started their long tenency, Renaissance put on some amazing live shows with such luminaries as Adamski, Boy George, M People and Kylie Minougue. The glitterati had now been replaced by mainstream UK clubbing but with volume brought money and by the end of the 90s Privilege was booming but their was a storm brewing.

Egos always play a big part in the clubbing world and the bigger the club the bigger the ego and when you are filling the worlds biggest club on a weekly basis then there are bound to be ego clashes. A big falling out between Manumission and Privilege saw the unthinkable happen as Ibiza’s biggest night was unceremoniously evicted from their home halfway through the summer of 2007, moving across the road to Amnesia but the damage had been done and Manumission never truly recovered.

What type of club evicts the biggest night on the Island? The type of club who then goes and gets the then biggest DJ in world to plug the Monday gap. Tiesto started playing to packed houses in 2008, a residency that would go on for 6 summers proving that Privilege were still at the top of the tree. Recently Carl Cox had a sold out summer residency there along with many other artists. When it comes to Ibiza on a massive scale then it doesn’t get any better.

So why the big back story about Privilege? Well this pillar of Ibiza’s hedonistic history has now been closed indefinitely by the local council due to illegal modifications inside the club that have hindered fire escape routes and increased capacity beyond its original licence.

The aforementioned egos have once again come to the fore and instead of playing ball and immediately fixing the problem the Privilege owners decided to appeal the decision at the regional court in Palma which duly upheld the decision to suspend its licence.

The very next day after the court ruling, a representative of the club presented a letter to the Council requesting that the suspension be lifted saying that it had already remedied some of the deficiencies detected on the day of the inspection. However, the municipal technicians found that some of the problems hadn’t been solved and that threats to public safety persisted.

Chances are that it will all get resolved before the summer but for now Privilege is closed until further notice which isn’t ideal for all those promoters who are planning for the summer not to mention the hundreds of employees.

The crazy thing in all this is that you get the impression that this was easily avoidable with a bit of diplomacy and understanding rather than brinksmanship from both sides yet here we are on the cusp of May with no resolution in sight. The negative press has already happened and the biggest club in the world remains closed….. for now.

It’s time to finally face up to the fact that the summer is upon us once again. How do I know? Well these strange people have started to appear.

While I zip up my fleece, they walk past in vests, shorts and flip flops. I should be used to it after nearly 30 years on the White Isle but it still comes as a shock to the system when they magically appear. It’s 20 degrees and I’m still feeling the spring chill while they let it all hang out, basking in Ibiza’s beautiful weather.

The term ‘guiri’ is viewed by some as a slur but I rather like it, for me it’s a badge of honour. ‘Guiri’ (pronounced girry) is what the local Spanish call northern European tourists of a pasty/white skin nature who stand out in a crowd. I’ve been called it a thousand times and have never taken offence although I know some of my friends don’t like it.

When I’m called ‘guiri’ I usually respond by calling the perpetrator a ‘Payes’ or ‘Payesa’ which is like calling someone from Ibiza a ‘country bumpkin’. They usually give a ‘touché’ look and we move on quickly. There’s names for everyone after all, not just pale foreigners wanting to spend their hard earned money in your town.

Now that the summer flights have started it’s the official end of winter and the ‘guiris’ are arriving in their thousands, I have to admit that I sometimes have to stop myself from scowling when I see them, I’ve become that person but it’s more of a reflection on me than them. It’s not a personal thing, it’s just I’m not ready for the winter to end. I’m never ready for the winter to end.

As I see them walking around our empty April streets I also feel thankful that they are here. I live from tourism, I was able to buy the house I live in because of tourism, our island only has tourism and I try never to forget this. The scowl is about me not them, it’s about living in paradise for 6 months where I can park my car, drive without the fear of playing bumper cars, get a table at my favourite restaurant, talk to my friends without my phone going 24/7 and relax in the winter sunshine.

It’s now transition time where we get back into the swing of things. My first villa clients are round their Ibiza pools and it’s all systems go (well kind of). August is still a long way off even though it’s looming like a dark cloud in the distance.

This is life on the island and although I’m never fully prepared I love this time of year when we finally get our arse into gear and get ready for summer. I also love all the guiris for choosing to come to Ibiza time & time again, spending their hard earned money so we can work 6 months a year and then have another 6 months relatively stress-free in paradise.

So if you do see me or others scowl from time to time then please treat us with the contempt we deserve, it’s just a phase we are going through.

Ibiza is a tough place to do business and all that glitters isn’t gold as Cathy Guetta has found out this week to her cost.

Bikini Beach, the beach club situated in Talamanca and co-owned by the businesswoman and ex-wife of superstar DJ David Guetta, declared bankruptcy on 11 March in proceedings at a Palma courthouse.

Details were published this week confirming the bankruptcy and advising creditors that an administrator has been appointed and for all outstanding bills to be submitted with a month.

The Bikini Beach Restaurant, known as ‘Bikini by Cathy Guetta’, opened its doors in May 2018 and was one of the two beach restaurants that Ms Guetta opened last summer in Talamanca, both in partnership with businessman Radouane Mahrouk. The second, ‘Turquoise’, opened its doors in July.

Guetta also has an interest in ‘Bagatelle Beach Ibiza’, located on the beach of Cala Molí in San Jose which opened in 2017.

Source: Diario de Ibiza

In our local pub the talk has been nothing but Brexit for weeks. It’s an emotional subject with both sides having their say in a passionate way.

It’s taken over all forms of political conversation, uniting some people but mainly dividing groups who, like us, get into heated arguments over a few beers where temperatures rise quickly before things calm down a little and friendships remain.

That’s the Brexit effect but our local pub is in Ibiza and we don’t live in the UK, we live in Spain as expats.

Us expats are a funny bunch. We love the UK but don’t live there. We move to Spain for what we consider a better way of life, which basically means 300 days of sunshine per year. It’s not always easy integrating yourselves with the locals, some do it better than others, some try hard to learn the local language whereas others don’t even bother. The expat can be a strange creature

I clearly remember in the 90s when Sky TV finally arrived in Spain. A seminal moment and what many thought was the final piece of the jigsaw, watching English football in your own Spanish home with the sun shining outside. Then came Sky digital which meant Coronation Street and Eastenders could also became part of your lives in Spain, if you were that way inclined.

Nowadays it’s gone even further and with the boom of the internet you can practically work anywhere in the world and still retain all your passion for your birthplace, as has been proven with Brexit.

But it’s sidetracked the real issue of our day to day lives in Spain, it’s been a diversion but it’s time to focus on what’s really important and that’s the Spanish local municipal elections on Sunday 26 May.

Over 18 million British tourists visit Spain every year. Banco Santander is a massive player in UK banking. Spanish companies such as AENA own Luton Airport and Telefonica own O2.

Brexit or no Brexit, the UK and Spain’s future was never in doubt, there’s too much to lose on both sides for the two countries not to find an agreeable way forward. Of course there will be changes in the event of Brexit but they won’t be earth shattering.

On the Spanish Costas there’s been a big shift in how tourism is viewed mainly through political point scoring and short term reactions rather than long term planning. Here in Ibiza it’s been a policy of prohibit and cull rather than invest and manage. There’s massive things happening locally right now that need to be voted on.

Brexit, it’s been fun, but now as an expat it’s time to focus on the real issue of who you are going to vote for in the Spanish local elections on Sunday 26 May. Who is going to be leading your local town hall come June and who is going to be making the decisions that will affect your life on a daily basis over the next 4 years.

“Brexit” – a pipe dream of the over 50’s to prove that the UK is still a world force

“Cabinet” – a room full of liars, backstabbers & cowards

“Self-Interest” – see previous point

“Brexit Secretary” – laughing stock

“May” – Cruella de Vil without the charisma

“Corbyn” – useless, anti-war, anti-establishment, anti everything, pro-Brexit but not allowed to say

“ERG” – old Etonian drinking club

“Jacob Rees Mogg” – upper class intelligent twit

“House of Commons” – Private Members Club (commoners not allowed)

“Tusk” – pantomime villain

“Brussels” – Gravy Train (invite only)

“Boris” – deluded buffoon, to be wheeled out like a performing monkey when mood needs to be lightened

“Farage” – a more sinister version of a “Boris”

“Gove” – alternative word for weasel

“Bercow” – little man syndrome

“Backstop” – the ‘MacGuffin‘ that drives the plot but doesn’t actually exist

“Bendy Banana Ban” – a myth perpetuated by Brexiteers

“Democracy” – can be spoken about but not acted upon

“Article 50” – two harmless words that when put together have brought the UK to it’s knees.

“Voters” – should be seen but not heard

“Brexiteers” – little Englanders

“Remainers” – hanging on

“29 March 2019” – the last Friday of the 3rd month

“Press” – a rabid, hungry bunch of dogs looking for juicy morsels

“Europe” – the pretend enemy within

They say that there’s no such thing as bad publicity but news that a new strain of ‘Super Gonorrhoea’ can be traced back to Ibiza probably isn’t the best advertising for the island.

A study published in the magazine Eurosurveillance places Ibiza as the link between the strain Neisseria gonorrhoeae FC428 and the infection of 2 men and 2 women, all from the UK.

The first case was registered at a UK sexual health clinic in October 2018 when a woman complained of urinary problems. The patient admitted having had unprotected sexual intercourse with a man, also a resident of the United Kingdom, two months earlier while on vacation in Ibiza (August madness as usual).

The scientific study emphasizes that the probable transmission of this disease has occurred on the island means that “there is a risk of undetected transmission.” Subsequently the UK government has issued an international alert.

Strain FC428 was isolated for the first time in January 2015 in Japan and appeared two years later in Australia, Canada, Denmark and France but the trail was lost in 2018 in Ireland.

The good news for Ibiza residents is that, despite the headlines, local hospitals haven’t reported any case of multidrug-resistant gonorrhoea in recent months so looks like the tourists brought the disease with them but more importantly took it away with them too. Ibiza, for once, is just an innocent bystander caught in the crossfire (if you pardon the expression).

Those tourists eh!

Source: Nou Diari

Vehicles of 4 wheels or more will be prohibited from arriving or departing at San Antonio Port for the next 2 years under a new ruling brought in by the Balearic Government and pushed through by the local ruling coalition.

In direct response the ferry companies have not included San Antonio in any schedules for this coming summer which means that the ferry terminal will more than likely stay closed for the foreseeable future.

Although many local businesses were against the move Mayor Josep Tur ‘Cires’ has finally got his wish arguing that San Antonio is a tourist town and shouldn’t receive vehicles and especially heavy goods lorries through the town on a daily basis in the summer.

The Mayor cited damage to the port, a collapse of traffic, water pollution and an increase in dangerous waves as his main reasons for the move. “The intention is for the port to stay this way indefinitely. We call it a port, but in reality it is the tourist bay of San Antonio and we have to recover its tourist, recreational and fishing use” said the Mayor.

Regarding the question of whether a majority of the town agrees with this temporary closure, Cires limited himself to saying that “there are always different opinions and we will see (in the next 2 years) the advantages and disadvantages”.

The Mayor also made clear that his position as President of San Antonio Yacht Club has nothing to do with the decision to close the port to vehicles. “Es Nàutic is a non-profit organization where all the directors collaborate without earning anything. We have a concession that is perfectly defined and that has nothing to do with the management of the port”

Marcos Serra, PP Mayoral candidate for San Antonio responded that the decision taken by the Socialists contrasts with the proposal of his own party which wants the local public to decide the fate of the port. “We want the residents of San Antonio to be the ones who decide, what the present government has done with underhand treachery is close the port to traffic and goods vehicles without any consultation or consensus from the town” said Serra.

Source: Periodico de Ibiza

The month of May is always an exciting time in Ibiza. Energy levels are high as the gossip ends and the opening parties commence. The weather is usually very good plus flights and accommodation are competitively priced. Here’s 5 reasons (if you needed them) why coming to Ibiza in May is always a good idea.

Friday 10 May – Cafe Mambo Opening Party. Put this in your diary as it’s always a special night on the sunset strip when Mambo opens its doors for the summer season. Sunset tunes by Jason Bye followed by surprise guests and a feel-good party. It doesn’t get any more Ibiza than this.

Saturday 11 May – Amnesia Opening Party. Yes you read that right, Amnesia opens on the ELEVENTH OF MAY this year. The home of Balearic house states it’s intentions with an early opening party featuring Luciano, the Martinez Brothers and Adam Beyer. Doors open from 8pm!

Friday 17 May – O Beach/Ibiza Rocks Hotel/Defected at Eden Opening Parties. The newly monikered O Beach might have a new name but you can expect the same crazy party atmosphere in the sunshine at their famous opening extravaganza. Ibiza Rocks Hotel embarks on yet another fun filled summer with their variety of headline artists with Craig David leading the way. For the hardcore it’s a quick shower and change and then on to San An’s biggest clubbing night as Defected kick off their weekly residency at Eden but this time taking over Fridays. What a day for San Antonio!!

Saturday 18 May – Ushuaïa and Hï Opening Parties. These 2 heavyweights have joined forces for the opening party of all opening parties. Ushuaïa will kick off from midday for some daytime fun in the sun then Hï (newly voted the worlds best club) will take over at midnight with both venues promising massive headliners in world class surroundings. A 24 hour mega-party to kick off the summer in style (and it’s a week earlier than usual)!

Friday 24 May – IMS Dalt Vila Party. This iconic party returns to the most iconic of all venues on the white isle, underneath the cathedral in Ibiza’s Old Town, a UNESCO world heritage site. With a mixture of up and coming artists and industry heavyweights this is always a fantastic night under the stars and it gets better every year.

Don’t delay, get your flights booked and see you in May on the worlds best Island.

Good news for home owners on the White Isle but bad news for those desperate to get on the ladder. A new report by urbanData Analytics (uDA) reveals that property prices in Ibiza are now 3 times higher than the national average and almost double than the rest of the Balearic Islands.

The study, based on properties registered in the last quarter of 2018, revealed that the average price in Ibiza was 4616 EUR per square metre compared to 2683 EUR for the Balearic Islands and 1679 EUR for the whole of Spain.

The municipality of Ibiza Town has the highest price of 5218 EUR per square metre followed by Sant Joan with 5058 EUR and Santa Eulalia at 4515 EUR.  Sant Josep’s average is 4399 EUR and San Antonio’s is 3892 EUR per square metre.

In Mallorca, the municipality of Calvia has the highest value at 3462 EUR per square metre followed by Andratx at 3351 EUR.  The average price of Palma is estimated at 2596 EUR per square metre.

The statistics highlight that the housing problem in Ibiza is much more serious than in the rest of the Balearic Islands.

The uDA report also shows the increase in Balearic house prices in 2018 when comparing first quarter to last quarter. Palma grew by 7.7%, Calvia by 6.1% and Ibiza by a massive 16.7%.

The analysis also revealed the big difference to owning your own home depending on the municipality in which you choose to live. For example, to own a residence in Calvià it will cost you 13.6 years of average gross household income, this decreases to 8.9 years for Palma, 6.1 years in Manacor and 4.7 in Inca. The Balearic average is 10.9 years of gross income but in Ibiza this increases to 15 years. 

For 2019 the Balearics is expected to grow another 10% in value whereas the national average is forecast to be 3.7%

The rising house prices in some Balearic municipalities also means the product is less attractive as an investment as it is increasingly difficult to obtain a significant return if it goes to the rental market. Interestingly for rentals the report states that for Inca in Mallorca you can expect a 6.1% annual return yet in Ibiza this drops to only 3.9%.

This forecast, however, is not shared by everyone including the representatives of the real estate sector in the islands. Luis Martin, The president of the association of promoters argues that “customers are fed up” with the prices of the archipelago which is causing a decline in demand. The president of the real estate agents’ association, José María Mir, also considers that rental prices are peaking.

Martin expects that the price of housing in sales will grow, at best, by around 5%, while Mir predicts that rents will stand still or rise by 2% at best.

Source: Diario de Ibiza

I’m back on the White Isle after another fantastic ski week in Switzerland. Last year it was the German speaking Zermatt so this time 5 friends and I decided to sample Verbier on the French side.  What’s always interesting when I’m visiting new places is to see how they react to tourism, how they treat tourists and how tourism interacts with their way of life. Ultimately I then compare it back to Ibiza where the resident/tourist conundrum has been a fraught relationship lately.

Every destination has its pro’s and con’s and Switzerland is one of those calm places where everything works. Trains run on time, hot water comes out of the hot tap and nobody seems overly phased by anything (which isn’t surprising with a minimum wage of around 3000 EUR per month). It’s a mature destination comfortable in its own skin that understands it’s role in the tourism deal. They provide a good, professional service and in return the customer pays a premium, it’s not cheap but it’s not obscenely expensive either, although there is that option for the wealthy and the blingtastic wannabes.

What’s interesting about Verbier is that many tourists stay in private rental apartments (a concept that is outlawed in the Balearics), there’s a smattering of hotels such as the luxurious W Hotel but most people that I spoke to were staying, like us, in a private apartment either through an agent or a website such as airbnb or booking.com.  We paid £2500 for 1 week, so for 6 of us it was a little over £400 per person, a very reasonable price for one of Europe’s premier ski resorts.  The quality was OK and it ticked all the boxes without being luxury, you get what you pay for at the end of the day.

The resort town of Verbier itself is charming, the lift system is good linking the 4 valleys, skiing is as challenging as you want it to be with a good selection of runs and amazing vistas. I would strongly recommend taking the cable car up to the top of Mont Fort, where at 3330m above sea level you get the sensational alpine view of the iconic Matterhorn and Mont Blanc, a worthwhile selfie if ever there was one. Skiing back down the steep, bumpy black afterwards is not for the faint hearted so you may decide to go back the way you came. The mountain restaurants we tried (Dahu, Chez Dany, Namaste) were excellent without being mind-blowing (Chez Vrony in Zermatt will take some beating).

The ‘Après’ in Le Rouge, T-Bar and Farinet was fun if a little subdued compared to other resorts (St Anton, Saalbach) with a surprising amount of Brits (including the usual Tarquins and Henriettas using Daddy’s credit card) mingling in with the locals and seasonnaires.  The overriding atmosphere was of a comfortable, laid back resort with nice people enjoying a well earned break.

So how do other destinations such as Switzerland reconcile themselves with tourism yet Ibiza and Mallorca seem to struggle?  I omit the other Balearic Islands on purpose, in fact Formentera and Switzerland could be twins in opposites seasons and Menorca doesn’t seem to worry too much either way.

What Switzerland and other destinations seem to have that the Balearics doesn’t is an acceptance that tourism brings compromise yet they set clear rules so lives aren’t ruined and everyone is expected to follow the law. They aren’t selling their soul, they are embracing the concept and running with it.

Ibiza and Mallorca have shown over the last couple of years that there is an unresolved, perpetual, internal battle with tourism. We want the money and prosperity that it brings but we aren’t able to cope with the complications that inevitable come with it, even if it’s only for half of the year. Some residents, fueled by social media, aren’t prepared to compromise even when most local employment revolves around tourism. We want only a certain ‘type’ of tourism even if we don’t have the infrastructure to support it. Lamentably tourism now seems to be the fall guy for some Spanish resorts that wouldn’t exist without it.

There’s no magic formula though, I’m sure the Swiss are attracted to Ibiza because it’s nothing like their country and vice versa. Switzerland excels in relaxation and wellness whereas Ibiza leads the world in pure hedonism but the Balearics can learn a lot from places like Switzerland. Both are steeped in natural beauty and attract a cosmopolitan crowd with spending power but mismanagement at the highest level means that as beautiful as our Islands are, we are still not reaching the heights that we truly deserve.