No Laughing Matter! San Antonio To Ban Laughter In Public

 

In a further tightening of anti-social legislation, San Antonio’s local council has once again flexed it’s muscles and announced plans to curb loud laughter in public.  

In news that will shock many the “Ruidosa Hilaridad Denounciano” (literal translation; Loud Mirth Act), will make it an offence to ‘howl, hoot or roar with laughter in a public place’ with fines for ‘excessive humourous expression’ of between 400 and 1000 euros depending on the severity of the ‘offence’.

When pressed to explain the reason behind the new ruling a council spokesperson explained that San Antonio’s new touristic model did not envisage people having excessive fun or seek to promote the expression of happiness but denied the new anti-laughter law would affect the islands tourist sector, pointing out that people were still allowed to ‘smile’ or  ‘grin’. He also hinted that a blind eye would be turned to sniggerers and titterers though anything exceeding a chuckle or chortle would be deemed a step too far. 

“Roaring or howling with laughter has no place in San Antonio” the spokesperson explained, this type of thing has “a negative impact on the environment and damages the image of the town”.

However there is some confusion over how the new law will be enforced with San Antonio Town Hall also stating that some leniency would be shown to gigglers and that there would be an amnesty from 24 Dec – 07 Jan to allow seasonal “HO! HO! HO-ing”. 

Local businesses have already expressed their dismay at the new legislation with one bar owner telling me that she has decided to stop showing Manchester United games due to concerns that their recent performances have provoked uncontrollable laughter from those assembled. Furthermore, David Guetta’s office refused to confirm whether the French ‘DJ’ will continue to play in Ibiza as his tune selection is known to provoke snorts of derision amongst purists.

A prominent local businessman said “Ibiza is once again taking itself far too seriously. This  law will only serve to drive laughter underground. People like a laugh and will guffaw whether it’s allowed or not”. 

In another twist, it has emerged that the powerful Association of Discotecas is refusing to implement the law inside its superclubs. A  spokesman commented “when people find out how much our drinks cost they often erupt into disbelieving laughter. If we report them all to the police there’ll be nobody left in our venues… and that’s no laughing matter”. 

Happy 1st April! 

Additional reporting: Kirk Field

Published by

Martin Makepeace

Englishman living and working in Ibiza since 1991. Entrepreneur with a passion for villas, boats, sunsets and San Antonio. Owner of Ibiza Property Shop.

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