MAN IN SAN AN by Martin Makepeace

When organising this years annual ‘lads’ ski trip (average age over 50!) we had a split in the camp. Not everyone has as much disposable income as the next person so when Zermatt in Switzerland was mooted as our next destination a couple in our group decided it wasn’t for them.

Luckily we had a tenacious character in our ranks who wasn’t taking no for an answer so after sourcing more economic accommodation along with a little arm twisting we all finally got together and embarked on our week in the Swiss Alps.

I’d heard a lot about Zermatt from friends so was keen to experience it for myself: This world famous alpine village 1.6 km above sea level that banned motor cars as long ago as anyone can remember using only electric 6-seater buggies to ferry the hordes around in a quiet, eco-friendly way.

Interestingly the similarities between Zermatt and Ibiza are there for all to see. Small, famous, world leaders in their respective fields and ‘expensive’. Not forgetting that both have a geological talisman in the Matterhorn and Es Vedra respectively.

It wasn’t hard to see why Zermatt is up there with the very best of them. From the moment you arrive at the station on the perfectly timed trains to the second you leave you are treated with respect and care by all you come across, never once feeling like a commodity or someone there purely to fill the pockets of local families.

But the biggest surprise was the cost. It soon became apparent that this wasn’t a place paved with gold, reserved only for multi-millionaires but somewhere that you could get a reasonably priced meal and have a cold beer in a world class bar or restaurant for surprisingly little. Don’t get me wrong we aren’t talking Benidorm prices but after all the hype it was nowhere near as expensive as anticipated.

When I mentioned this to our young, intelligent, multi-lingual and slightly geeky hotel owner he gave me a knowing smile and then the penny dropped. Just like our own small island, the ‘extortionate’ prices is a well sold myth that keeps the 2 places at the top end of world destinations and on everyone’s lips.

A private in-joke that keeps away those fusspots over focused on money rather than having a good time. Just like Ibiza it’s possible to enjoy all that Zermatt has to offer but not have to apply for a 2nd mortgage.

Like any world destination there are top end places you can spend a fortune at and champagne in the top bars isn’t cheap and there’s a smattering of world famous celebs dipping in and out all the time but it’s still possible to be a part of it all, experience breathtaking nature, feel special and have an experience second to none. This easily applies to both Ibiza and Zermatt.

There are some places in the world that you have to go and see for yourself and not get too bogged down that you might spend an extra few euros over the course of a weekend but the payback is enormous.

Those who take the leap of faith are rarely disappointed (just ask our two friends) so if Ibiza is on your to-do list this year then it’s probably time you came and experienced it for yourself rather than listen to those sheep who just follow the herd. You know the ones who come to the white isle, go to beach clubs by day and super clubs by night and then like to tell anyone who’s listening how expensive the island has become but if you want to party like a rock star then be prepared to pick up the bill.

The reality is a little different but the price myth of both Ibiza and Zermatt is a finely told tale that ensures both get a reputation to keep them at the very top but it’s a myth none the less.

As I discovered over the course of an incredible week in one of the worlds most beautiful countries the leap of faith is richly rewarded and the skiing wasn’t bad either.

Ibiza

143,856 inhabitants

73,519 Male (51.1%)

70,337 Female (48.9%)

33,828 Non-Spanish extranjero (23.5% – 7th straight year it has decreased)

1,670 More Spanish than in previous year

121 More foreign inhabitants than previous year

723 aged 90 or over

17,282 aged 65 or over

22,237 under the age of 16

4,625 Italian

4,157 Moroccan

3,966 Rumanian

2,549 British

2,136 German

1,763 French

1,759 Ecuadorian

1,328 Argentinian

1,229 Paraguayan

408 Chinese

Proportion of Non-Spanish ‘extranjeros’ per area

San Juan 33.7%

Santa Eulalia 24.8%

Ibiza 24%

San Antonio 23%

San Jose 18.8%

Balearic Islands 16.75%

Spain 9.82%

Formentera

12,280 inhabitants

3,838 Non-Spanish extranjero (31.25% – 76 less than previous year)

55 aged 90 or over

1,554 aged 65 or over

1,638 under the age of 16

1,196 Italians

537 German

432 Moroccan

385 Rumanian

248 Argentinian

Notes: Population figures are for 2017 compiled by the Institute of National Statistics. Ibiza and Formentera has a large transient population especially in the summer that won’t be represented by these numbers. ‘Extranjero’ means foreigner and is a word widely used in Spain that describes non-Spanish.

The Presidents Club scandal in London has had widespread condemnation and appears to be a watershed moment for the British psyche.

The annual gathering of the UK’s fattest tomcats with the sole aim to get them oiled up on alcohol and encourage them to spend as much money as possible on a charity auction whilst surrounded by attractive females (paid to be there) has come to a crashing end after complaints that some female hostesses hired for the evening were subject to unwanted sexual advances.

The sensationalist stories that came out of the evening were reminiscent of a Roman orgy with fat rich men pawing over young innocent females. This version of events has been strongly denied but the damage has been done.

Anyone who has worked in the Ibiza, Las Vegas, Dubai, Miami, London, even Mallorca club/bar scene will know the scenario well. Rich (and usually older) men getting more and more inebriated and more and more suggestive while they are served with copious amounts of alcoholic beverages at a premium price.

So where’s the line in all this? The objective after all is relieving the paying guest of as much cash as possible in the least amount of time whilst giving them an experience to remember. In the Ibiza version the hosts and hostesses usually wear flattering or revealing clothing as a uniform and have a twinkle in their eye. The odd hand may slip somewhere it shouldn’t but they are professionals and are trained at not getting too emotional about this yet still making the the guests feel special so they can spend even more money and hopefully leave a big tip.

(Please note the above paragraph applies to both male and female – sometimes the girls can be far worse than the boys)

The key to all of this is employing the right person for the right job. VIP areas in Ibiza’s clubs are full of strong independent hosts and hostesses who know their job inside out and more importantly know how to lay down clear boundaries in a professional manner. Rather than being victims they are well paid professionals.

The Presidents Club recruiters obviously didn’t follow these guidelines hiring quantity over quality and therefore playing into the hands of the moralists who were rightly outraged at the stories that came out so playing directly into the hands of the tabloids.

Is this the end of lad culture? Of course it isn’t as long as everyone is fully aware of the situation and briefed accordingly with sufficient security in place. Make a suggestive comment to a VIP hostess in Ibiza and she will laugh it off, put your hand somewhere where it shouldn’t be and you’ll probably be escorted outside without delay by a couple of man-mountains. It’s always been this way and will continue to be this way. Business is business after all and the business is money.

Fun can quickly turn sinister without proper training and guidelines in place and this appears to be the case with the Presidents Club. Just a shame that all those UK charities will now suffer because the organisers forgot the basic principle that everyone should have a good time, staff included.

A new environmental study by the Balearic University has thrown out some interesting statistics which highlights the pressure that Ibiza is under in the 21st century.

Firstly, the ratio of tourists per resident is now 25.56 travelers per inhabitant, the second highest in the world with only Andorra having more at 33.5 tourists per resident.

The study also focusses on the ‘human pressure index’, at the beginning of August when the indicator is at its highest, the total accommodation capacity exceeds 122%, in other words “there are more people on the island than available places to house them. This gives us a clear indication of the saturation of the island”. The report is at pains to stress that that this isn’t sensationalism but the true reality comparing it to 17 years ago when the HPI figure was 100%, 22 points less.

The report also indicates that in 2016 there were 204,534 housing places for a total resident population of 142,065 people, an occupancy rate of 69.45%. In 2001 this figure was 55.57% and the report details the decline of residential accommodation options due to the increase in the island population and the stagnation of construction since the outbreak of the housing crisis.

They also indicate that “the total number of non-regulated tourist places in homes in 2016 was around 18,000 or 23,000, which would be between 3,100 and 3,900 homes”. This trend has brought with it “new serious social problems, such as the abusive rental and purchase prices and the consequent expulsion of the local population”.

More worryingly for younger residents the study reveals that in the modern Ibiza it takes 20 years to purchase a house with an average salary when financial guidelines recommend 4 years and also that a whopping 82% of salary goes towards renting on the island even though the the EU clearly states that “a household is overburdened when more than 40% of disposable income is allocated to housing expenses”.

The report concludes that based on the results obtained and the scenarios derived an “information system is necessary on the direction of the growth model”, as well as urging reflection “on the island that we want to leave for future generations”.

Source: Diario de Ibiza/Societat d’Història Natural de les Balears (SHNB)

San Antonio’s West End businesses have called in Alfonso Rojo, President of ‘Pimeef’, the powerful local business group to mediate with the council and try and find a way to negotiate longer opening hours other than the new 3am closing time law proposed just before Christmas.

Speaking after meeting local councillors Rojo said that business owners are “skeptical” with this new regulations and doubt that it will be fulfilled by certain bars who already “jump over the bullfighter”.

The same business owners are deeply concerned that the new regulations “will ruin the West End” but Rojo also said that local entrepreneurs “do not defend the ‘anything goes’ attitude in the West End and are aware that the rules are breached”.

Rojo stated that “the businesses who carry out bad practices give the area a very bad image,” and believes that an agreement must be reached with all the owners of the West End’s premises to comply with laws. “It is better to achieve consensus, the new regulations will hardly be effective if it only comes from the council”.

There is a group of West End businesses that already comply with the law and they want the council to accelerate the sanctions that are applied to premises that commit infractions, such as having pushy PR’s on their staff or leaving doors open creating unacceptable and illegal noise levels.

Rojo also believes that it will be “very difficult” to enforce terraces to finish at 11pm because that is when it begins to get busy in the West End. “This schedule will make it unfeasible to have terraces”.

Similarly, the business owners don’t agree with a 3am closure because if their premises comply with all the regulations, with proper soundproofing and keep the doors closed, “they can continue to be open without disturbing local residents”.

San Antonio councillor Aída Alcaraz didn’t clarify if the council will make any concessions. “We are now in the process where businesses can present and display counter arguments that we will study with the thoroughness that they deserve”.

Alcaraz insisted that the council “has to enforce the law” and not favour the interests of any group of businesses over residents “who may suffer health damage from illegal and unacceptable noise levels above those that are legally allowed”.

Source: Periodico de Ibiza/Foto: M Sastre

1 A ceasefire in the continuing war between the island’s law makers and the entertainment industry and a recognition of how important this sector is in the big scheme of things. Instead of blaming each other for the crime that comes with certain elements put more control on the streets and clean up the island instead of closing and prohibiting.

2 An end to the building ban that has seen growth on the island come to a standstill and licences to reform major projects taking over 2 years. This is unacceptable especially when it will improve things.

3 The fixation with beach clubs coming to an end. The privatisation of Ibiza’s beaches has carried on unabated over the last few years, there’s definitely a place for high end on the island but not at the loss of the the public being able to stretch out on a white piece of sand without having to pay silly money for the ‘privilege’.

4 A new world class golf course. Ibiza’s continual hardline stance against one of the planets most popular pastimes doesn’t make any economical sense with so much land that could be transformed into lush greens. Mallorca, Tenerife and Costa del Sol thrive on this type of tourism especially in low season and winter.

5 Smokeless beaches and public areas. Ibiza’s beaches are being transformed into giant ashtray with cigarette ends covering every square metre of sand. Time for a major re-think to clean up our most important natural commodity before it’s too late.

6 An island wide ban on plastic bags. Plastic is the enemy of this archipelago and laziness is the disease but there can be a cure. Time to be an innovating island and look at recyclable products that will stop marine life suffering and having to wait between 20-1000 years for that supermarket plastic bag to degrade into the earth.

7 Residents to regain more tolerance for tourism. It never used to be this way, previous local generations knew the value of tourism however many of their offspring have grown tired, resenting the holidaymakers that come to the island. Time for a reality check, maybe the government could start running workshops to other not so fortunate destinations so we can finally be thankful?

8 A coherent 10 year plan for vehicles, parking and traffic. Having just spent Christmas in New Delhi I’ve seen a future without making tough decisions and it’s not pretty. It’s chaotic and dangerous and needs addressing rather than waiting for the next generation to solve it.

9 VIP culture to come back to Planet Earth. A social media obsessed world has driven the desire for no expense spared weekends on the White isle but small family businesses are suffering as a result of the same 10 places getting all the trade. Aforementioned businesses need to up their game too but never has the need to spread the wealth been more acutely felt.

10 Ibiza remains as vibrant and Inspirational as always. Regardless of the challenges ahead the island is still a haven for free-thinking people from all over the world who add to it on a daily basis. Yes it’s a lot more expensive than it used to be but that’s the global economy for you. It’s still the best place in the world but you knew that anyway.

A Very Happy New Year, see you in IBIZA 2018

Las nuevas leyes de ruido anunciadas para San Antonio supondrán que todos los bares y clubes en el área de West End cierran a las 3 de la mañana y las terrazas se retiren a las 11 de la noche. Esto solo se aplicará al West End, ocupa unas pocas manzanas de ancho, pero constituye el corazón del “pueblo viejo” de San An.

Para que la nueva ley se apruebe lo más rápido posible antes del verano de 2018, el Consejo de coalición tripartito ha designado al área del West End como una “zona de protección acústica especial” debido a los altos niveles de ruido durante el verano.

El West End y San Antonio dependen en gran medida del turismo británico, alrededor del 75% de todos los turistas que visitan la ciudad son británicos y muchos son jóvenes de entre 18 y 25 años que viven su primera estancia en el extranjero atraídos por su sol, reputación, clubes y los nombres más importantes en la música de baile. Llegan a San An porque cumple todos los requisitos para su edad y presupuesto, y muchos regresan una y otra vez progresivamente mejorando.

San Antonio siempre ha sido una puerta de entrada para este tipo de turistas, aquellos que no pueden pagar los altos precios que otros “resorts” de las islas ofrecen. Siempre ha sido así porque estos precios asequibles es lo que encuentran en los hoteles locales. San Antonio solo tiene tres hoteles de 4 estrellas en toda la ciudad y esto se refleja en los que vienen aquí. A pesar de que los hoteles locales han acometido grandes reformas en los últimos 15 años, todavía están a un millón de millas de ser calificados como de “world class”.

Así que a menos que en los próximos 10 años se abran una serie de resorts de playa de 5 estrellas, San An seguirá ofreciendo el mismo tipo de habitaciones a precios razonables que atraen a un cierto grupo demográfico, el mismo grupo demográfico que el Sr Valdés y sus compañeros claramente no quieren. Incluso si las grandes cadenas de hoteles quisieran crear un país de las maravillas de 5 estrellas, el gobierno isleño socialista tiene una prohibición de construcción vigente, por lo que no se construirá nada en los próximos años y actualmente se tardan más de dos años en obtener una licencia para reformar un hotel existente.

Para aquellos que vienen a San An y no tienen dinero para reservar mesas VIP en los súper clubes de Ibiza, el West End ofrece bebidas y luces brillantes que son un faro de diversión a un precio muy razonable. Amarlo o detestarlo, siempre ha tenido un lugar en la dinámica de la Isla … hasta ahora.

En los últimos años es triste decirlo, pero el West End se ha derrumbado rápidamente, degenerando rápidamente en un ghetto donde rara vez se ve a la policía dejando un vacío sin ley. El hecho de que el West End no se haya controlado a sí mismo ha resultado en 3 problemas principales:

1. Los operadores de bares sin escrúpulos y sus relaciones públicas forzando acuerdos de bebidas baratas en jóvenes ingenuos que terminan en estado de embriaguez.

2. Las prostitutas organizadas en cada esquina molestan a los transeúntes y roban a los que están demasiado borrachos como para darse cuenta o defenderse

3. Las mismas pandillas de carteristas que esperan cerca del rango de Taxi todas las noches se aprovechan de los turistas jóvenes que acaban de pasar un buen rato.

Irónicamente, los “looky looky” ahora palidecen en relativa insignificancia, pero estos problemas no son muy diferentes a muchos otros resorts mediterráneos, sin embargo, en lugar de enfrentar a los delincuentes y los infractores, el Vicealcalde Valdés ha declarado la guerra a los bares del West End, lo que a su vez penalizará a aquellos turistas que los frecuentan y disfrutan, la mayoría de los cuales son británicos.

El Sr. Valdés claramente no le gusta el turismo que en San Antonio ha prosperado durante décadas y ha utilizado las quejas de los ‘147’ residentes para justificar sus acciones. Dejen que profundice en un minuto: 147 residentes que viven en un área que es famosa por los bares y lo ha sido durante casi 50 años. 147 residentes en una ciudad que depende 100% del turismo. 147 residentes que necesitan protección pero también que viven en medio de un pueblo fantasma durante 7-8 meses al año.

No se puede inventar, pero ese es el enigma de San Antonio, un consejo que desprecia la mano que lo alimenta y que anhela a esas familias ‘agradables’ y parejas de mediana edad/ancianos que eligen visitar Santa Eulalia durante 4 meses año.

Mientras Sr Valdés enfoca su ira en los turistas británicos, sacrificando el disfrute de los jóvenes y arruinando los medios de subsistencia de muchos honestos dueños de bares (españoles y extranjeros), los verdaderos criminales no han sido mencionados, así que estarán libres para deambular y hacer sus malas acciones con muy poca presencia policial.

Esto es imperdonable: este consejo a quien le encanta llevar pero no devolver nada. 147 residentes pueden verse afectados por el ruido extra durante 4 meses, pero ¿cuántos turistas jóvenes se ven afectados semanalmente por los delincuentes indiscutidos? Me imagino a muchos más de 147, pero no son votantes, y probablemente estaban ebrios y se lo ” merecían ” a los ojos de este consejo.

Sin duda, San Antonio necesita una limpieza y ese es el trabajo del consejo elegido, pero aborde primero los problemas reales en lugar de centrarse en negocios legítimos construidos durante muchos años que emplean a muchos y que suman a la ciudad. San Antonio tiene muchos problemas que deben abordarse, pero unos cuantos decibelios adicionales por 4 meses al año no son el verdadero problema aquí.

The new noise laws for San Antonio means all bars & clubs in the West End area need to close by 3am and terraces removed by 12am midnight. This only applies to the West End which is a few blocks wide but makes up the heart of San An’s ‘old town’.

To get the new law passed through as quickly as possible before summer 2018 the 3-party coalition council has designated the West End area a ‘zone of special acoustic protection’ due to consistent high noise levels during the summer.

The West End and San Antonio’s relies heavily on British tourism, around 75% of all tourists who visit the town are British and many are youngsters aged 18-25 experiencing their first overseas holiday drawn to Ibiza by it’s sun and fun reputation coupled with world class clubs and the biggest names in dance music. They come to San An because it’s ticks all the boxes for their demographic and budget and many come back over and over again progressively upgrading

San Antonio has always been a gateway for this type of tourist, those that can’t afford the big bucks options that other resorts and islands offer. It’s always been this way because this is what the local hotels cater for. San Antonio only has three 4 star hotels in the whole town and this is reflected in those that come here. Even though local hotels have had a dramatic reformation over the last 15 years they are still a million miles away from being termed as ‘world class’.

So unless a raft of 5 star beach resorts open in the next 10 years then San An will keep offering the same type of rooms at reasonable rates that attract a certain demographic, the same demographic that Valdes and his honchos from the fun Police clearly don’t want. Even if the big hotel chains wanted to create a 5 star wonderland the socialist island government has a building ban in place so nothing will get built in the next few years plus it’s currently taking over 2 years to apply and obtain a licence to reform an existing hotel.

For those who come to San An and don’t have the cash to book VIP tables at Ibiza’s super clubs, the West End offers drinks and bright lights that is a beacon for fun at a very reasonable price. Love it or loathe it, it has always had a place in the Island’s dynamic….until now.

Over the last few years its sad to say but the West End has gone downhill fast, quickly degenerating into a ghetto where police are rarely seen leaving a lawless vacuum. The West End’s failure to police itself has resulted in 3 major problems:

1. Unscrupulous bar operators and their PRs forcing cheap drinks deals on naive youngsters who end up in a drunken state.

2. Organised prostitutes on every corner hassling passers by and robbing those too drunk to notice or defend themselves

3. The same gangs of pickpockets waiting near the Taxi rank on a nightly basis preying on young tourists just out to have a good time.

4. The ‘looky looky’ men are now peddling laughing gas to naive youngsters, even though it’s illegal and leaves a mess behind the local authorities don’t seem too interested in tackling the problem.

These issues are not dissimilar to many other Mediterranean resorts however rather than confront the criminals and the lawbreakers Deputy Mayor Valdés has declared war on the bars of the West End so in turn will penalise those tourists who frequent and enjoy them, the majority of which are British.

Sr Valdés clearly dislikes the tourism that San Antonio has thrived on for decades and has used the complaints of ‘147’ residents to justify his actions. Let that sink in a minute: 147 residents who live in an area that is famous for bars and has been for nearly 50 years. 147 residents in a town that relies 100% on tourism. 147 residents who need to be protected but also who live in the middle of a ghost town for 7-8 months a year. Their petition of just 170 signatures has been taken more seriously than the 1300 presented by the market stall holders and my own of over 2000 asking for action against the aggressive street sellers, I didn’t even get a reply.

You couldn’t really make it up but that’s the conundrum of San Antonio, a council that constantly bites the hand that feeds it and who yearn for those ‘nice’ families and middle aged/elderly couples who choose to visit Santa Eulalia for 4-6 months a year.

While Sr Valdés focusses his iré on British tourists, culling the enjoyment of youngsters and ruining the livelihoods of many honest bar owners (Spanish and foreign) the true criminals haven’t been mentioned so will be free to roam around and do their ill deeds with very little Police presence.

This is unforgivable: this council who love to take away but give nothing back. 147 residents may be affected by the extra noise for 4 months but how many young tourists are affected on a weekly basis by the unchallenged criminals. Many more than 147 I would imagine but they aren’t voters are they and they were probably drunk so ‘deserved’ it in the eyes of this council.

Without doubt San An needs cleaning up and that’s the elected council’s job but address the real issues first rather than target legitimate businesses built up over decades, who employ many and add to the town. San An has plenty of problems that need addressing but a few extra decibels for 4 months a year isn’t the real issue here.

The Balearic governments obsession with public workers speaking Catalan has reached crisis level at Ibiza’s Can Misses hospital.

3 weeks ago the Balearic Health Board approved a decree with a minimum requirement of the Catalan language to be able to work in the Balearic health service which has caused many non-Catalan speakers to consider their position.

Although 75% of the trade unions voted against, the decree was passed thanks to a single vote in favor by the current socialist government led by PSOE’s Francina Armengol with the support of MÉS and the left wing Podemos.

With this strict new language criteria coupled with the continuing housing problems some health professionals have decided to move away from the island rather than study Catalan.

Neuropediatrician Ileana Antón from Argentina is one such example: “I’m not against Catalan, I am against it being a requirement to get a job, it is against my principles that I am valued in a different way because I do or don’t speak a language”.

Anton continued: “To put it as a requirement seems to me to be a supreme level of ignorance. Those who are managing public health are doing it from their ideology and not thinking about whether the service is quality for patients”.

Anton’s boss Bartolomé Boned, is from Ibiza and he thinks the same, lamenting that it’s difficult enough already to attract trained professionals without putting any further obstacles in the way: “it’s going to be even more difficult because we’re creating a problem where there wasn’t one”. Only 5 out of 7,000 complaints received by the Balearic public health service were because the professional did not know how to speak Catalan.

“The language of a doctor are the signs and symptoms of diseases,” believes Ileana: “If Messi doesn’t have to speak Catalan to play for Barça, I don’t know why I do to be a doctor In ibiza”.

The sad truth is that 18 emergency service physicians have left the island in the last 7 months and currently there are 8 vacancies with little hope of filling them. Most of the 21 professionals who work in this service do so with a temporary contract, none are from the Balearics and only 2 currently have the required level of Catalan. Meanwhile there are waiting times of up to 8 hours in the emergency room. “The situation is critical” said Anton.

Source: El Mundo

San Antonio council has confirmed that they will push through new noise laws in time for summer 2018 and it’s not good news for the West End. The coalition council has decided to act after acoustic tests in the town last summer showed that the area was exceeding current noise laws by up to 20 decibels.

The new proposals will see all bars and clubs in the West End area (Calle del Mar to Calle Progreso and Calle Antonio Riquer to Calle Balanzat) shut by 3am with all terraces closed and removed by 11pm. Bars will also have to invest in sound proofing and install noise limiters which can be closely monitored by the local authorities. What’s more the council have said that no more licences for music bars or restaurants will be granted.

Mayor Jose Tur said that 147 residents are currently affected by the noise from this area with councillor Pablo Valdes adding that the excess noise is like a train passing by your bedroom window.

This hard line approach has many bar owner/operators questioning whether the famous West End has a future. Last August saw terraces close at midnight which had a dramatic effect on many establishments.

In the new ordinance the government has made no mention of the criminal elements that has blighted the West End for the last few years. Rather than focussing on removing the criminals they appear to be trying to remove the people that the criminals prey on.