Dear Frank
Following your latest announcements on social media.
We’ve seen the videos.
It’s ‘reassuring’ to know that despite last summer’s educational field trip that didn’t end well, you’re still confident that IBIZA NEEDS YOU. That level of deluded certainty, particularly at a safe digital distance does not go unnoticed and although I hesitate to give you the oxygen you crave, I’m going to give you a direct response.
It may come as a surprise to you but the island hasn’t developed the dependency you predicted.
You may remember the practical portion of your prior relationship with a San Antonio nightclub: contracts, costs, relationships, and most of all reality. All the unfashionable details that ended your hands-on involvement before summer really started and you left rather abruptly in your bright yellow sports car blaming everyone except yourself. Since then Ibiza has continued with its usual lack of crisis.
No vacuum formed. No systems failed and nobody called asking for you to come back apart from a few social media sycophants.
Bars opened. Clubs ran at maximum occupancy. Music played. Businesses ran. People who invest years (rather than uploads) carried on doing what they do quietly and repeatedly and by the way we all enjoyed our Christmas dinner so no help needed there either.
This is the recurring misunderstanding of the so called influencers armed with a smartphone and head full of nonsense. Ibiza isn’t an app awaiting an update. It isn’t broken, stalled or holding out for leadership via a ranting (and rather amateur) selfie video.
It’s a functioning, stubborn, occasionally brutal ecosystem (as you know) that filters confidence through experience and keeps what survives and spits out what doesn’t.
So while the declarations are noted, let’s restate the position:
Ibiza doesn’t need saving.
Ibiza doesn’t need fixing.
And it doesn’t need Frank the Stagman.
But please, keep posting. The island always appreciates pre-summer entertainment.
Warm regards,
Man in San An
MAN IN SAN AN by Martin Makepeace 