Break out the cava! Ibiza is about to have its very own fully functioning Parador – which if you didn’t know is a government owned hotel of historical and cultural value. Yes, after 17 years (basically 5 World Cups, a global recession, a pandemic, and enough municipal meetings to age several governments) the Parador de Ibiza is finally ready to open. Honestly, I’m just happy it’s here in my lifetime.
But I digress – it’s beautiful. It really is.
66 rooms of which 41 are for guests and the rest are for staff – thanks to the Ibiza housing crisis and which feels like the only sane way to solve the problem. There’s a wellness area, outdoor pool, terraces, solarium, and all the cultural trimmings you need to justify 17 years of work. They even built a courtyard with a canopy and a mini auditorium, presumably for events, presentations, and future complaints about pigeons (but I shall come to that later).
Most importantly it sits atop Ibiza’s iconic old town in the most photogenic pocket of D’alt Vila, next to the beautiful cathedral with sea views and just waiting for that thoughtful cultural Instagram pose.
At FITUR in Madrid this week, officials explained the delay of recovering Punic walls, Roman ruins, medieval arches, underground parking, and heritage restorations that made this a really complex project and all joking aside it probably was but it also feels like the construction version of ‘my dog ate my homework’ except the dog is UNESCO.
There’s also a “museumisation” phase (yes that really is a word) still underway (because why finish everything before opening?), but they promise it’ll be done by the end of the year. I believe them… kind of…in the same way you believe airlines when they say your delayed flight will depart ‘soon’.
In the most Ibiza twist imaginable, the Parador now needs a falconer to scare away pigeons. Yes, a literal falconer, as in trained birds of prey patrolling the bastions of D’alt Vila like it’s a medieval Netflix series. They’ll also be trapping invasive snakes and wild cats, because apparently nature didn’t get the memo that tourism is king of the island and just in case you were were wondering the salary for the falconer is €30,000 a year, because of course it is.
Wheels turn slowly in these parts and it’s been a long process (understatement of the year) but everybody’s proud and rightfully so. Ibiza’s Mayor, Rafa Triguero, called the opening a “historic milestone,” which it is – mostly because it survived 17 years of bureaucratic, logistical, and archaeological purgatory to exist at all.
Ibiza also finally joins the Paradores club, becoming number 99 in the national portfolio, the first in the Balearics and another big step towards ‘deseasonalisation’ (another long word) which has been the island’s version of ‘New Year’s resolutions’ for decades.
Am I excited? Yes. It’s gorgeous, cultural, heritage-rich, job-creating and genuinely good for the island. Am I annoyed? Hell yes because it’s been well over a decade of seeing that bloody great big crane which is thankfully no longer there.
But hey it’s here and it’s happening. Reservations start next week and guests arrive late February (hopefully). Better late than never, though if they decide to renovate anything else in D’alt Vila may I humbly suggest we start now for a 2043 grand opening.
INFO: www.paradores.es/en
MAN IN SAN AN by Martin Makepeace 